I’m hereby recommending that the Republicans draft former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick for president. He’s a perfect fit. He’s got SEVEN YEARS OF EXECUTIVE EXPERIENCE! That’s more than Giuliani, more than Romney, more than Zero-Executive-Experience-Amateur-On-the-job-learner-McCain. He’s got more foreign policy experience than any of them, because Detroit borders Canada. For their convenience, his obligatory corruption/sex scandal is already old news.
Plus, he’s never had an abortion!
He needs a job, the Republicans need a presidential candidate with some executive experience, and they’d get the added benefit of not having to change his diapers and install a Hoveround ramp in Air Force One. What could be better for them?